thank you :)

this is a thankyou.
For coming to my life,
For making memories,
For always being there.
I've had many friends,
although few this special.
But there was never ever
any competition.
It isn't the secrets we share
but the way we care,
That holds us dear.
I know it isn't easy to trust,
to let go,
but we are only insecure with
people we do not know.
I can tell u my fears
with no second thought.
Coz u always make me feel better,
You always help me out.
It sometimes is so bad,
that the world
just doesn't understand.
Thankyoufor being there.
I know i can come to you whenever
I need youYou left me alone
when I needed the space
When I spoke,
You listened to me.
Not just pretended to hear,
like the others.
There were fights along the way,
not many though.
Coz we both know life is too good
The goofy way we spend our time,
I loved every second of it-
the sleep overs,
the comic book recipes,
the pillow fights,
the phone calls were fun.
I hope you realize
how much you're worth.
You mean so much to me.
"Idiot, I missed you,
You will be so dead
If u don't come over tomorrow
I have so much crap to share"
You know these words mean the same.
I dream of a day,
Many years down the line,
When we grow old,
When we do lame(it wil be cool then)things together.
Like complain in depth
about our joint aches
weird stuff like that(I can't guess right now)The memories will keep us together
Till the endNo doubt.I don't know what the future holds
if we wil stay together or not
How stuff will turn out.But whatever happens
Just remember
this good old friend of yours.
I will be there for youForever
and ever more.

unfair!!

The worst thing about guys and career options is that there are always too many good ones to choose from, and ones which appeal to you the most are the least attractive to your parents!!

Life is unfair to me, or I guess I am unfair to life. Most of the times I don’t know what I want, and at those times life gives me pleasant surprises and everything makes me happy. And when I know what I want, I might get things but they don’t make me/everyone happy, and I end up letting go of those very things I once wanted the most!

i read these lines somewhere ..and these words gave me support !!!
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

i cry!!!!!

Every time I'm left alone I cry. I've become a cry-baby.
I guess I'm kinda glad it hasn't become a daily thing, but that's only cause I'm not alone everyday. A distraction is good, it's necessary. And the worst part is: time won't heal it.. it's the fact that, as time passes by, I'm going to feel like crying even more.
And it's not like I'm sad, it's just that I miss too many things: I miss people, I miss objects, I miss foods, I miss sounds, I miss feelings, I miss.. the little things and the big things.
It's like the worst feeling in the world, the missing will never stop.. unless it's replaced by something new.
What is the opposite of two?

A lonely me, a lonely you. ~Richard Wilbur

bluff life!!

this post is dedicated to a very special friend...don't knw if she needs it or not...but it is something i really want her to know!this one comes straight from the heart...just for her!
i love to watch movies....n bluffmaster is one of my favourites....n many a times ive seen the whole movie over n over just for one particular scene...which goes like this...abhishek bachchan(roy in d movie) gets to know that hez gonna die in another 3 months by his doctor-boman irani...he is shaken...for obvious reasons!
boman tells him a few things...which apart from givin abhishek a lesson in d movie...taught me a lesson of a lifetime too!dis is wat it was...
boman- "roy tumhe pata hai jab main chota tha...mere babuji mujhe cycle chalana sikhate the....wo cycle ko peeche se pakadte the aur mujhe bolte the chala beta....main bolta tha nahin babuji....main gir jaunga...wo bolte nahin beta tu chala...maine tujhe pakda hua hai...aur main chalta gaya...aur thodi der baad maine peeche mud kar dekha...to babuji nahin the....wo dur khade haath hila rahe the...aur roy main cycle chalana seekh gaya tha!!aaj meri ek beti hai....aur maine bhi use isi tarah cycle chalana sikhaya tha...wo bolti rahi...papa mat chodna aur main bolta raha haan beta....tu chala maine tujhe pakda hua hai....main bhagta raha aur ekdum se maine use chod dia....wo fir bhi chalati gai...aur jab usne mud k dekha...main door khada hath hila raha tha...wo cycle chalana seekh gai thi roy!!
mujhe wo sab din yaad hain....meri degree ka din...meri pehli naukri....meri pehli salary....jab meri shadi hui....jis din meri beti paida hui...shez d most prettiest grl on earth roy....jab usne pehli baar mujhe papa keh kar pukara...uska school ka pehla din....college ka pehla din....yahi sab din the jo meri zindagi ko zindagi banate hain!roy tum batao...tumhari umar kitni hai?
abhishek: " 30 saal doc"
boman: "30 saal me aise kitne din the jo tumhari zindagi ko zindagi banate hain??wo school ka pehla din...coll ka pehla din...tumhari pehli girlfriend...ur first kiss....jab tumhe pehli baar pyar hua....tumhari pehli naukri....pehli salary.....batao roy aise kitne din the??10...20...30!30 saal ki zindagi me bas 30 din!!!wahi 30 din tumhari zindagi ko zindagi banate hain!aur ab tumhare paas 90 din bache hain....tum chaho to inhe rote rote guzaar sakte ho....ya fir in 90 dino mein...tum 3 zindagian ji sakte ho!!"

isn't it awesome....made me want to live a 100 lives in one!u too can bluff life...cheat on it....by still livin it to d fullest...even if it din't giv u much to dance about!u can mould it d way u want to!n i hope you will!

.........

i was scanning my college days photographs ......i started recalling my initial days of college .first year of engineering. life was so different at that time . memories of ragging, engineering drawing ,civil practicals,group task,hostel life ,bad food ,new friends,crushes,at the same time there was something which i dont want to recall and once the college gets over i was happy that somethings will come to an end
this blog is about a friend of mine ...who has been one of my good friends then changed to be the best friend of mine, then eventually into a not so very good pal and finally ending with a very bad note.Yes, my once best friend turned foe in these four years . Thats what has been my college life. no matter how much I tried covering up. this was the truth that we are not friends now and what left between us is the silence.
i was happy that there wont be anymore confrontations, no more uncomfortable glares, no more negative vibes. It has finally come to an end. I wonder how in such a short span of time, a good friendship can brittle into insignificant pieces of distrust and hate. I wonder how two people, who at one point of time were the best they could understand each other suddenly turn the worst enemies one can deal with. is this so called friendship a farce?
No. and Im pretty confident about it since I have people, who have stood against me through thick and thin. then what is it that almost blurred my college life.

I realised that may be this is what we call as living alternate lives. May be my sour friendship was ment to be sour no matter how much I try and safegaurd it. Certainly at that time i was incapable of judging whats good and whats bad for me, but what I do feel as years passby that they defintly have the capability to mend broken relations. which I badly failed. All those unanswered questions still remain unanswered. because at no condition neither he nor I would be in a condition to reason them. in that way guess goodbye is the only way sometimes!

It has been long that Iv dreamt, how good it would have been if we could still pull each others leg and joke about each others tantrums, how good it would have been if still we could have argued over nonsensical discussions regarding why girls are better than boys, how good it wud have been if we both cud have had that anti soda and discussing life, how good it wud have been if we both cud have just talked!
As said somethings are better left forgotten, I hope someday I would fathom what is that one mistake that bridge two people so far that they never can face each other. so that in future I would never leave myself with unanswered questions. so that I would never lose on all those who someday meant to me more than anything.

All those memories of us together ....... are just memories. and how I still wonder that whether I should cherish that golden past or live this hurt felt present!

" hope you reach for the stars" we scribbled on to some piece of paper when we both were best of buddies.

As yesterday, even today I hope the same for him.

in the loop

Ever since i became weird i remember i kept on entangling myself in "the loop".
the question is why?
and the answer is more simpler..
Iv been trying to get everything and anything that life offered me....nd my desires knew no bounds.
one after the other i kept on getting deeper and deeper inside "the loop"

sometimes letting people know that Im not actually what they think of me...

Sometimes holding on to past so badly that few special moments which "every sane person" would call special, dont fly by..

Sometimes just waiting to happen something good....

and one after the other i got deeper n deeper n deeper.

And now after whole 5 years I have an opinion about this feeling which im sure many share...

Cut the Loop, Break Free!

Stop waiting for life to happen, make life happen.
Stop wait to let people understand, Give a Damn.
Stop living the "past", live the "present".

In short know that to "you", till you die, "you" will remain the most important person to yourself. with ofcourse exception to all those people you refer as "close"

A Loop has no end, One has to cut the chord and live beyond boundaries.



Choose, before others leave no option for you!

memories......

am feeling slightly blue this morning. missing a friend of mine who's gone away to, well, a 'place of no return'. hehehe. by that i mean the big U.S. of A. most people are lying when they say that they'll come back from the US. because most people can't come back from 'the land of opportunity'. especially back to a country like india, where u have to fight for every bit of ur share of ur rights.

this friend was a really good friend of mine. don't know if i can call him one of my closest friends so let's leave it at that, a really good friend. i used to get along so brilliantly with him. he was the person with whom i used to talk about the silliest things in the world. miss all the crazy conversations we used to have. maybe its just me but i got the feeling that he sort of drifted away a little bit right before he left. don't know whether it was concious or..i don't know....it doesn't even matter.

i remember feeling quite disoriented for a period of time right before college. everything was different. things weren't in my control anymore. life was, in a sense, 'spiralling out of control'. that sounds terribly melodramatic, but that was the way i felt then.

i don't feel the same any longer. but things are different. i'm no longer in that coccoon of security i was in a couple of months back. college is screwing me bad(partially my fault coz i'm not studying), and my friends arent with me anymore(i'm talking strictly in the phyiscal sense, that they arent around everyday).

yeah i know i know this is a phase. i'm gonna make friends in collge, i'll get used to studying blah blah blah. but it won't be the same. its like stepping into someone else's life, and starting again from scratch. and that is the part which is the most discomfitting. the fact that my life till two months back will have no connection whatsoever with my new life. and also terribly sad.